


Is It Okay If I Come Out?

by solitaryqueen



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Coming Out, M/M, Sheriff Stilinski's Name is John, Stilinski Family Feels, because what the hell is a noah, i guess, the sterek relationship is only mentioned btw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-29 02:52:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11431650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solitaryqueen/pseuds/solitaryqueen
Summary: Stiles has something to tell the sheriff.





	Is It Okay If I Come Out?

Stiles has done research as he always does.

First, he searched for usual internet counseling focused on giving advise to people that are a part of the LGBT+ community. He looked for the best tips to come out without making his dad experience something like a heart attack but in the end, everything, every advice, every sentence he let himself consider kind of mixed up and created this weird fuzz in his head that made him incapable of thinking about the conversation he’s about to have. With his dad. 

It should be okay, Stiles hopes. John Stilinski was pretty accepting and understanding with the whole supernatural stuff (yes, it took him a while to get there and he may or may not had to be kidnapped and almost used as a human sacrifice to let himself believe that none of the things that Stiles said were a result of sleepless nights and too much video games, but Stiles tried to remain positive).

And yeah, there was that one time when he caught Stiles in a gay club and told him he can’t be gay because he was... dressed like a straight guy, apparently. (Stiles could only imagine how this conversation would go. "Hey, dad, remember when you told me that I’m not gay? Well, surprise.“) but Stiles knew that his dad loved him no matter what.

It was just... hard to finally let it all out. Especially when his sexuality wasn’t the biggest bombshell he was about to throw on him. Dating Derek Hale, who is six years older than Stiles and was twice arrested (once for a murder with Scott and Stiles being the ones who turned him in) and also unbelievably and incredibly sexy, would probably be the bigger issue here.

John and Derek have already been through some bonding time together and it’s not like Stiles thinks that his dad hates Derek. No, maybe he’d even say that he has this weird, soft spot for him because of all those things that happened in his past but that doesn’t mean he is ready to face something like this... his underage son dating an ex murder suspect. Great. Just amazing.

And the worst thing about all this probably is the fact that he didn’t even bother to tell Derek about it. Of course, Derek Hale and his perfect everything were absolutely okay and open about his pansexuality so it wasn’t like he knew the stress Stiles was going through right now, but telling the sheriff about their relationship affected him in a big way, actually.

And that’s why Stiles is standing in the kitchen, washing up and struggling with moving the dishes with his shaky hands, careful not to drop anything. His breathing is intermittent, he can basically see spots in front of his eyes whenever he looks around, his legs feel like jelly and he’s ready to pass out.

His dad is supposed to come home from his shift any minute by now and Stiles tries to swallow the lump in his throat when he thinks about all the things he is going to say out loud.

The next thing he knows is that a few minutes later (he managed to clean two other plates without causing any harm), he hears the cruiser stopping by their drive way, the engine shutting down. Stiles suddenly feels cold, his stomach clenches and he quickly places the plate on the kitchen counter before it hits the floor.

He’s trying to calm down, his heart is beating as fast as rabbit’s and his throat feels dry and raw as if he were screaming from the bottom of his lungs until now. And maybe he even was, internally.

He hears his dad’s footsteps behind the front door and then he’s inside, undressing his coat and giving Stiles a small, tired smile. “Hey, son.”

Stiles swallows again, barely feeling the saliva in his throat when he looks at his dad. Who is looking right back at him as if nothing big was happening. 

“Yo, dad. Everything good at the station?” he rasps out and the sheriff gives him a weird look, but doesn’t say anything about it.

“You know it. Usual complains about interrupted silent hours and cats stuck on trees,” he jokes.

“I thought the cat thing was firemen’s job.”

“It is,” John shrugs as he brushes past Stiles in order to make his way to the fridge. “How was your day? Any new supernatural threats I should know about?”

Stiles grins sheepishly and rubs the back of his neck. “Uh, no, I don’t think so.”

John pulls out a plate that Stiles swears he washed like a second ago along with a chicken pot pie they spent the entire weekend making because none of them could exactly have the title of a MasterChef. He starts cutting out a piece reminding Stiles of a cake he’s had on his sixth birthday and suddenly he feels like he’s going to puke. And not just puke. He’s going to throw up and then pass out and have a nice bath in his own-

No. This needs to stop.

“Do you want some?” John asks him, not looking at his poor son who’s probably paler than the white walls in their bathroom.

“No… Dad, could you - could we… I – I need to talk to you. About something,” Stiles says croakily, takes a deep breath and closes his eyes for a second. John gives him an unreadable look and stops his movements, carefully letting go of the knife in his hand. Stiles watches as said knife lands on the kitchen counter, half of it covering the plate and gulps.

“Stiles, you’re scaring me,” the sheriff says and Stiles can hear the worry in his voice. 

He’s afraid he can’t do this. He’s afraid he won’t be able to let those words out and his dad will be worried about nothing and that’s absolutely terrible for his health, actually, it’s the last thing he needs, the fear, the constant stress – what the hell is he even thinking right now? What if the thought of a new death threat in this shithole of a town crossed his mind? What if he thinks that Stiles fucked up – and not like this, but really, really fucked up and Stiles won’t be able to get rid of the knot in his throat to tell him that nothing that serious is going on and-

"Stiles.” He realizes his dad is grabbing his shoulders. He’s breathing heavily and shaking. “Stiles, look at me. Whatever it is that you want to tell me, it’s going to be fine. I love you, son, alright? No matter what.”

Stiles looks up with a soft, vulnerable expression carved into his face and blinks, then swallows and nods. 

“Okay,” he breathes out and bites his bottom lip, touching his father’s arms to ground himself and stop his surroundings from spinning. Even his head is starting to hurt.

“Do you want to sit down?” John asks him, soothingly rubbing his shoulders. 

Stiles doesn’t answer, just sinks down onto a chair, his father automatically following him. 

“Okay so, before you freak out it’s… nothing wrong. At least it shouldn’t be. I hope it won’t be,” Stiles starts and John encourages him to go on. “You know, at first I realized it in the freshman year. I was always rambling about loving Lydia and stuff but I think I just… I idealized her, you know? I never really loved her. I just wanted to… anchor myself, make myself feel normal and she was there and she was out of reach so it was completely fine. I know I’m probably not making any sense right now and it’s like I’m just walking around it because I don’t want to actually say it and it’s not entirely true even if it actually is-“

“Stiles, Stiles,” John interrupts. “Calm down, okay? I’m here, I’m listening.”

"I’m gay,” Stiles blurts out and the nausea and need to vomit is back. There, he said it. It’s out. He can’t take it back. He could probably play it off as a joke (“Yes, dad, I planned this whole thing and almost had a panic attack only to pull a prank on you, am I not the best son ever?”) or just say he wasn’t serious and everyone should blame his crazy acting skills but he stays quiet and waits for an answer.

He isn’t brave enough to look his father in the eyes, so he just sits there… and waits. 

The kitchen is filled with silence and the air is so thick you could probably pull out a knife and cut it in half. Stiles doesn’t know what he expects. Of course, wanting his dad’s comfort and understanding is what he was originally going for but now even a gentle, almost nonexistent sign of the sheriff being remotely okay with it would be enough.

“Stiles,” he says and Stiles stills, his mind suddenly stops running, only focuses on his father’s words. “Is this – is that all?”

Stiles looks at him incredulously and wants to snort and retort something like “you did not just say that” but then remembers that no, this isn’t all. It was hard, yes, but the more difficult part to explain is yet about to come.

“No, not really,” he mumbles.

He can see the sheriff’s Adam’s apple bobbing. “Go on then?”

“You’re not gonna… react? To any of this? I just told you I’m gay, you know what that means? I’m attracted to dudes, as in, the same gender as me. Which means I’m not going to end up with a lovely female with strawberry blond hair and I won’t get her pregnant and you’ll have to face people looking at you this… way as if you raised your son wrong because he fucking likes guys. Are you counting on that?”

It takes Stiles a few seconds to realize that he’s yelling and spitting all around him while his dad just watches and listens. 

John stares at him for a moment and then he stands up and Stiles flinches. Not that he expects his dad to hit him, he never did. Not even back when his mom was alive, they never beat him. Never. But what he certainly wasn’t expecting is to have a pair of arms wrapped around him in a crushing, breathtaking hug that makes him feel like his dad is going to break his ribs if he doesn’t back off. His lungs are on fire and he can barely catch a breath, but he’s refusing to let go. 

Because this is it. This is what he wanted. Compassion, understanding. Acceptance. 

“Stiles, it’s okay,” he assures him and Stiles isn’t sure, but it feels like his cheeks are wet and tears are rolling down his face. He doesn’t mind. 

“Dad, I’m… I’m dating Derek.”

He imagines his dad breaking the hug. He imagines his dad storming out of the room, furious. He imagines his dad pulling out a gun and running up to Derek’s house. He imagines being grounded forever, living an empty life locked up in a tower like Rapunzel. He imagines his dad looking at him with his eyes full of disappointment. 

John says instead: “He’s a good guy. I’m glad it’s him.”


End file.
